We can be reached 24 hours a day for your care-related enquiry on 09 407 7799

Loss and Grief Support

Understanding Your Feelings of Grief

Grief is a normal reaction to loss that can literally turn your world upside down. Your emotions, thought processes, behaviours and physical well-being are all affected by grief. Most people who suffer a loss experience one of more of the following reactions:

  • Numbness - Shock
  • Anger or increased irritability
  • Frustration or annoyance
  • Guilt
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Fatigue
  • Confusion
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Change in appetite – eating more or losing appetite
  • Sleep disturbances – sleeping too much or not at all
  • Physical complaints
  • Sudden mood swings
  • Lack of energy

The Grieving Process

There is no ‘time limit’ for resolving feelings of grief. Everyone goes through the grief process at his or her own pace and it is important to have realistic expectations about the various reactions you will experience. For example, you can expect that:

  • Your grief will take more energy than you would have ever imagined
  • It will involve many changes and will be continually developing
  • Your grief will entail mourning – not only for the person you lost – but for all the hopes, dreams and unfulfilled expectations you held
  • You may have a combination of anger and depression that results in irritability, frustration, annoyance or intolerance
  • You may have a lack of self-concern and if you find suicidal thoughts are increasingly in your mind, see a doctor or phone our Family Support Counsellor for support
  • You may experience grief spasms (acute upsurges of grief) that occur suddenly, with no warning
  • You may have trouble thinking and making decisions, find that you are pre-occupied and forgetful
  • You may begin a search for meaning and may question your religion and/or philosophy of life

Let yourself grieve – it helps.

There are no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ ways to grieve. There are no rules or set timetables. Have no expectations and take all the time you need to grieve in your own way.

Self Care is Essential

Grief is exhausting

Look after yourself as well as you can. Don’t compromise on this. Make sure your daily routine includes regular and nutritious meals and snacks, lots of water to drink, rest and sleep and exercise – even if it’s a brief walk outside to the letterbox and back at first. Consider massage, as many find it deeply relaxing. Avoid using alcohol or drugs or other risks to ease your grief – they can easily become another problem to have to sort out. Keep in touch with friends and family and ask for help.

Find ways to let what is inside, out:

  • Talk it out with someone you trust
  • Journal / write it down
  • Play music
  • Create something

Find whatever works for you.

Useful Links

Here are some online resources for you to explore:

www.skylight.org.nz

www.hospice.org.nz/resources/u... 

www.griefcentre.org.nz

Seek Assistance

If for any reason you find that you are not managing your loss and grief and would like professional guidance, please contact our Family Support Counsellor on 09 407 7799.

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